So About That XMountain Debacle

[yosh56]

This is in reference to the game of XMountain on the 12th/13th that lasted forever. 

Basic Setup

GDI vs. Nod (go figure) on XMountain ; CT Marathon server 

Early Game [0:00 - 15:00 ish]

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Usual back and forth at silo. Both teams have decent infantry players so the silo is hard-fought for. I believe Nod got the silo 1st, but don't quote me on that, it was a long ass game.  

Me being on Nod, I already notice that the Nod team is probably not really up to snuff in terms of coordination, or knowing how this game works in the least. A large majority of our team ends up with SBHs doing honestly nothing of major importance. 

Meanwhile, in the field I see Nod has 8 tanks in front of GDI's base, and we're all like, YEAH! We got Arties. Then GDI was like, "Yeah, but.... you guys literally do not have one Technican" .. then all of the tanks were like, "Fu** you're right.". 

GDI proceeds to wipe the floor with every Nod tank in record time, thanks to the lack of even one Technician [snarky comment mid-game about this was made by yours truly.]

GDI rolls out on Nod, who decides getting tanks is a bad idea because it means we'd have to buy Technicians which is suuuuper hard.

Next, GDI decides to be lenient and not push too terribly hard, instead fighting with Nod's few vehicles over the silo, and contending with some LCGs and Ravs in the field. 

Mid-Game [~15m-45m]

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Both teams are more or less just picking at each other, jerking the other off and not doing too much helpful. 

The Nod team is doing what every bad Nod team does and spamming SBHs, wanting nothing more than to outside C4 rush and plant nuke after nuke after nuke. 

Eventually there is a break in failed nukes, as a double nuke on the GDI Refinery and Barracks both go off, courtesy of some clever Mendoza play(and by clever, I mean just stand behind the deaf/dumb/blind Hotwires). 

R.I.P GDI Barracks/Refinery. 

So now GDI has no Hotwires or money, right? RIGHT?!

Right!!!

So, because Nod is populated mostly by unimaginative people, the nuke and SBH attempts continue, only for them to realize it is much much easier to defend 2 buildings. 

Then 2 very very important things happened : 

GDI's PowerPlant MCT got stared at REALLY REALLY hard by a Mendoza until it exploded ; 

Nod's Airstrip was infiltrated, and nobody called mines, and subsequently blown the hell up. 

People have the nerve to ask 'how' the strip blew up on Nod, when we are clearly 21/24 mines. This is what the Brotherhood was working with. 

Late Game [~45m-120m]

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@CampinJeff Begins the tried and true method of breaking a team's morale by grabbing a 1k sniper and utterly, brutally, inhumanely, horrendously, disgustingly, no good, very badly commencing a rape session on GDI's huge number of free infantry already 1-2 veterancy levels behind. 

GDI attempts to push out with their tanks, only to run into the Great Wall of LCG/Rav/Tech and be subsequently annihilated

I decide to play the infantry path and constantly EMP their infantry path mines, literally getting myself halfway to Heroic by just roleplaying as Peyton Manning, if Peyton Manning carried 100lbs of armour and threw EMP grenades instead of footballs.

I also merrily mow down free infantry once I hit Heroic, alongside senor boxes (AKA CampinJeff) as he hits about the 150+ kill mark here.  

Nod proves themselves utterly incapable of bringing together more than 6 people to coordinate an infantry rush, the 1st of these being a Rocket rush that failed so badly that I don't have a fancy word to do it justice. 

I eventually have to give up on coordinating these shmucks, and go back to the field. 

Nod does a random haphazard infantry rush from the front because we just ALL happened to be there. We kill off a few vehicles, but everyone then balls up into a corner and gets themselves killed out of stupidity...

For another hour we just slog it out at GDI's front door, with @Sp00ky proving himself to be da' REAL MVP for literally being a Technician all game and healing not just Nod's scant APCs, but also units that actually matter, e.g: LCGs.

With no snipers, the GDI base begins to succumb to the laser wall at the front, though because @Syntharn somehow avoids everyone and can constantly flank with a rifle soldier, LCGs start to finally die on occasion... Thankfully Nod has a Refinery and money 

The Nod Refinery proceeded to spontaneously explode, though I didn't care because I had 11K saved up and I'm not stupid. 

The Late Late Game [120m > The End] 

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Nod is still trying to do dumb things with SBHs, even though GDI is literally camped around one building

Finally I decide to take a 1-way trip with an APC to the GDI Weapons factory, as a man-tank of course. I EMP the Weapons Factory mines, then get somebody to verify that they aren't replaced. 

GG, GDI officially had no Hotwires left. 

I grab another APC (cuz I'm rich bitch) and a man-tank, then assemble a rag tag bunch of individuals : A single Technician and a single Raveshaw, and together we exploit the fact that the Heroic Nod APC is really REALLY REALLY fast, and you should never give it a straight shot into your base. 

GDI lets a really fast APC shoot by and between a Mammoth and a Med, because the driver was awesome enough to shoot the gap, and they proceed to kill the APC just outside the WF front door. The rag-tag group of Man-Tank and pals charges into the WF, noticing that indeed, GDI has no mines, and just as remotes on the floor. After totally watching several Engineers learn about FLAK armour the hard way, we C4 the MCT, then start lighting up a computer for points, and occasionally even point our guns at dudes with hard hats. Eventually they are able to down the rag-tag group, but the damage was done. The WF was brought down to 87 health thanks to these brave, courageous, non-sbh individuals. 

Proving that the Great Wall of Weapons Factory was not untouchable, the Nod team is emblazoned with zealotry, and attempts some horrid Mendoza rush that I wasn't a part of.. Whatever. 

At the front of GDI's base, they begin countering APC rushes by... putting tanks in the way. This immediately spurs Man-Tank The Destroyer into action, and suddenly he is accompanied by another Man-Tank by the name of Dan_R who apparently ALSO knows how to use EMP grenades and focus down tanks. TOGETHER 3 Mammoths and a Med meet their end at the hands of Man-Tank and the Boy-Tank-Wonder. 

@Sp00ky once more makes a cameo as the faithful medic of Man Tank The Destroyer's, and seals the deal of being best support in the eyes of all Nod. 

Finally, as the rest of the Nod team finally starts to play, and GDI is too busy jumping on every bullet that @CampinJeff shoots [About 400 of them to be exact], some group of people FINALLY get a Rocket rush going and like... 2-3 shot the Weapons Factory. 

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GG, no re. @Sp00ky for being the real MVP (And he literally did get Best Support and MVP). And I'm pretty sure @CampinJeff ensured that many people would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever play again with his 450 kills on free infantry. 

[Madkill40]

7 hours ago, yosh56 said:

though because @Syntharn somehow avoids everyone and can constantly flank with a rifle soldier, LCGs start to finally die on occasion...

Play of the game ^

[Sn4ke]

sounds like I missed a good match

[Quinc3y]

Nice one, but not as good as the Lakeside game a couple months ago, because this one wasn't really close it seems

[RoundShades]

This was easily the third best fanfiction writing I've read this year, but considering it wasn't even fanfiction, just really fancied up fiction, that makes it even better.

[djlaptop]

I actually LOL'd several times while reading this. Nice write-up.